BREAKING: UNC student burglar, armed with knife, damages cheese

Have I mentioned lately that I love the Herald-Sun? Well, I do, and this kind of thing is why:

[the suspect], 23, of Legacy Terrace in Chapel Hill was arrested about 4:30 a.m. after police say he broke into a neighbor’s home, armed with a knife, and caused $300 damage to the front door and an estimated $5 in damage to some cheese in the residence.

This is one of those stories which just asks more questions than it answers. Was he seeking revenge on this cheese? Did he stab said cheese with the knife? Or was this “damage” done to the cheese of the “eat, digest, expel” variety?

Furthermore, he caused a suspiciously specific “estimated $5” in damage to the cheese – did these guys really go seek a cheese repair estimate, or are they just pulling numbers out of the air? Or are they writing off the whole wheel here?

Obviously, you’ve gotta stay tuned to the H-S as this story develops.

1 thought on “BREAKING: UNC student burglar, armed with knife, damages cheese”

  1. Ha ha ha! Great write-up on the humorous H-S reporting of this incident.

    Actually, the reality behind the story is rather mundane. To spare the perpetrator the indignity of being charged with theft, it was decided to report the cheese as “damaged”, even though the damage was of the “take from someone else’s refrigerator, leave illegally entered apartment, eat, digest, expel” variety.

    P.S. Yeah…I’m the guy whose apartment was broken into.

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